Why We Waited To Share Our Pregnancy News On Social Media
Updated: Sep 19, 2019
If you read my recent Instagram post you must have read our amazing life event. If you didn't, well here you go...… We are expecting!!! We are beyond excited and feel so blessed to see our family grow.
Pregnancy is an exciting time, so why not share the exciting news?
Most people want to share this news as soon as they find out, but for us it was a little different. We shared the news with family and close friends, but that was as far as it went. We also waited to tell our kids, if you can believe that! My Husband and I decided to keep this secret out of Social Media until we felt it was the right time. I was filled with excitement and couldn't wait to share this news, but at the same time fear set in. As a blogger I share a lot of my family life, but there are some things that I do keep private and decide not to share on Social Media. Mainly because my husband is not a big fan of sharing our life with everyone, which I do understand and respect.
There are certain events in my life that I like to keep private as well and only share with my close friends and family. So when we finally broke the news to our friends we also mentioned that we had not officially announced. Now the big Why? Why we waited and why did fear set in.
Lets begin with the main reason, Why did fear set in?
You see last year in January of 2018 I suffered a miscarriage, and it was one of the hardest life experiences I had ever dealt with. When my husband and I first found out we were shocked and not prepared at all for the news. Another baby? How would we be able to afford having another baby? Having four kids on one income was hard enough! Financially I knew it would hit us hard, but there was nothing to do but figure it out. I had just started my last semester of school and was due to graduate in June, so that meant harder classes and having to stay focused. My baking business had come to a complete stop after I decided to focus on school full time, didn't need any distractions so there was no other income coming in aside from my husbands. Finding a job was not going to work because of my husbands work hours and the kids going to school. My husband reassured me that everything would be okay and that we would figure things, one way or another we would manage as we have done in the past.
As reality began to set in, the thought of a new baby began to bring me joy. That quickly ended a few days after finding out, I began spotting and feeling some cramping. Immediately I knew that something was not right and went to the emergency room where the doctor confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I remember walking out of the hospital hoping that by some miracle the doctor was wrong, that if I rested this baby would hold on. Praying and resting was not going to help and a few days later I no longer was pregnant. The guilt set in even harder and I fell into a depression because I felt it was my fault that I had a miscarriage, that I shouldn't have been upset when I found out.
We never told the kids what had happened, it was best to keep it between my husband and I. My husband didn't want me telling anyone but I felt the need to talk to someone, that holding it in was not going to help me get through it. Eventually after talking about it with my close girlfriends I began to feel better, school also kept my mind preoccupied. That summer I got a job and eventually my husband and I began to talk about possibly adding to our family.
When I found out we were expecting again
I just couldn't believe it! Again the excitement and fear set in, this time fear of having another miscarriage. I couldn't wait to tell my husband the news, but how would I tell him? Since we had been trying and was not having any luck getting pregnant, he thought that perhaps he was too old and well.... the boys weren't swimming like they use. So I decided to let him know that they can still swim by surprising him with the sign and pregnancy test. I placed it on our bathroom counter right before he got home from work and can you believe he missed it! Men! I had to go and show him, he was beyond happy. Like me he didn't want to get his hopes up in case it didn't happen. At this time I was working out aggressively running up to 4-5 miles and weight lifting, but because of my fear I stopped. I tried to workout again but the minute I felt cramping I would stop, thinking that would cause me to miscarry again. I was going to urgent care every time I felt cramping, while waiting for the doctor I would prepare myself for the bad news. Every time baby was okay and growing, you know that first trimester is where it's the biggest chance of miscarriage. After the first trimester my fear was gone and knew that everything was going to be okay. So I slowly began to workout 2-3 times a week, unusual for me since I was use to working out 5-6 times a week. Now I am confident that everything will be okay and began my running routine and it feels great! Now you see why we decided to wait on making the announcement, but there were a few other minor reasons when we finally agreed on the right time.
We wanted to avoid the unwanted comments
Big families are not common, well atleast that's what society makes it seem like. When we tell people we have four kids we get the shocked reaction, as if it is out of this world to have a big family. So for us we dreaded the comments that were going to come with the announcement, you know the "Another one, wow!", "OMG! this will be your fifth baby?", "How is it going to be with another baby", "Dont you guys own a T.V.?". Yes, we have gotten all those comments before and as much as I try to brush them of they still get to me. I laugh it off when they say them but in all reality they are a bit hurtful. Aside from the fact that I was already running to urgent care for every little thing that felt wrong, afraid of another miscarriage I didn't want to deal with the comments. I wanted to enjoy this happy moment with my family and not have someone make me feel bad for having another baby.
My husband and I decided on a big family after our second baby, we both love every moment of being a parent. It has it's challenges I'm not going to lie having a big family means that much more cleaning, that much more fighting but it also means that much more memories and that much more love to go around. So we learned to ignore those unwanted comments and just go along with the jokes because at the end of the day it's no ones business as to why we decided on a big family. This is why we held on to this secret a little longer, but also to enjoy this excitement together.
It was nice enjoying this time with my family
Not having to worry about social media expectations, how we were going to announce the pregnancy or how we will reveal the gender. When we finally told our kids they were beyond the moon with excitement. Which is what we expected since they had been praying very hard for a new baby brother or sister, because that's how babies are put in mommies tummy. Yes, my kids had asked the big question "Where do babies come from?". For my youngest kids we believe it's too young to have the talk, my oldest well I am pretty sure she knows. Keeping this secret to ourselves felt more intimate and stress-free. It was nice just enjoying this time to ourselves without the unwanted comments, since during this pregnancy I did have morning sickness. If you have ever been pregnant you know that advice on how to deal with morning sickness, the home remedies and what to avoid. Oh! and don't get me started on the having to eat right and stop working out advice. It was special just enjoying this time between us.
So now that we spilled the beans...…….
you will be able to follow us on this crazy pregnancy journey with us and all the excitement that comes along with it. Life changes we have made , yes we have a lot more announcements to share with you all but for now those will be kept for a little while longer.